My 17-year-old daughter excuse book for having an untidy teenagers room has some corkers in it. I probably am walking on thin ice by writing about it and the risk of her reading this may incur her wrath. Daughter S has a truly amazing skill. It can take well over seven days to tidy her room only for it to take minutes to make it messy again.

I must admit I’ve lost my temper about the way the room has been turned in to the den from Stig of the Dump but have recently come round to the thinking that it isn’t a deliberate attempt by S. My daughter insists that it really can’t be helped and is some form of organised chaos. My brain tells me it’s a complete mess.

The funny part about it is that over the last three years or so, she has found her inner designer. At the moment it’s Rose Gold accessories which in fairness she has bought her self from her part-time job.  It just seems at odds with each other.

I grew up with a brother and although I’m now obviously ancient, I honestly can’t remember having a room that resembled the aftermath of a mini tornado. I have previously mentioned concerns about mobile phone use but I genuinely think that this amplifies the problem with the mess.

The FOMO factor on social media, the ability to constantly reach her friends and watch one of the endless box-sets available on all platforms all add to the distractions. Add to the mix college work and family time and I’ve just convinced myself that there aren’t enough hours in the day.

Storage isn’t a problem, there is ample room for that. As a place where they spend half or more or their life, you would think that they would want a clear place to spend their time. I get the psychological battle at this time in their life. The independence, it’s their room versus our house thing.

We have set out what is expected but these rules are regularly broken often leading to a heated debate and neither party wants this.

The problem is that I really think its an issue that may affect both mental health and eventually physiologically. That chaos is surely not good for mental clarity and adds to teenagers anxiety. I know I’m getting older, grumpier and less fun but I have my standards.

At the moment I think I will carry on asking nicely and outlining what is expected. Not sure there is a lot more I can do, and let’s be honest there are a lot worse problems out there in the world.

There are plenty of articles out there with reasons for and against insisting on getting your teenager to tidy their room up. Here are some that may help:

3 reasons why you should let your teenager have a messy room

From a teenagers point of view

The psychology behind it

I would love to hear how other parents manage with their teenage kid’s room. Do you rule with an iron fist or just let it slide over your head?

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